That awkward moment when someone says, “I miss you” but YOU don’t miss them so you’re just like, “Aawww. Thass so cute.”
Literally, this happens to me way too often lol.
Awww, but I miss you~
If you tell me to chill chances are I was already chill but you just made me mad as shjt and now I’m definitely not chill
To the anon that asked about my husband and my life as parent; I acciendentally deleted the post right after answering it -.- I am so sorry. Did I mention I dislike using the tumblr app on my dated phone? Cause I do. I really do. Gahhhh
it really pisses me off how easy it is to get sad and then how long and hard it is to get happy again like what the fuck man thats not fair
If you don’t have a massive alternative universe in your head with developed people and stories you’re lying.
"You can’t eat all that!"
fuckin watch me.
Beer honestly just tastes how I imagine urine to taste it is so rank and people are always like nah try this because this is special Beer and then it’s like oh ok urine with cinnamon in it great
why do people freak out when they see a part of my bra or my stomach like what did you think was under my shirt?? a tank??? the great wall of china???? popular korean artist park jae sang also known as psy????????
nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
do you ever feel yourself being annoying or antisocial but you just cant stop
when yo friend is considering watchin yo favorite show
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
stop enforcing the idea that u need 2 be in a relationship 2 be happy sometimes u just need more cereal